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do you remember?

you and me holding hands, so in love at the start..
you and me in the wind  on  a  swing at the park..

on  my  knee  with a ring,  oh  we hugged and we smiled..
life was good; now it's great, or was I just in denial?

'cause we fought, then we cried; and we broke, then we lied..
now  you're  gone  and  I'm  lost  feeling  so  weak inside..

so I ask: could we be — after all we have seen —
still in love, yet broke up; somewhere trapped in between?

I don't know, you're still gone; time has passed, nights are long..
here's to you   —  here's goodbye  —   as to you I gift this song..
Edit: I changed around the format a little (the line breaks and long spaces) to what I thought was appropriate.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconaraujov:
AraujoV Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2015
Very touching
Reply
:iconcatslover200012:
catslover200012 Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014
Love it, great job!
Reply
:iconnamfodog:
NamFoDog Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Professional General Artist
Goodbyes are rarely good...  
Reply
:iconfro7a:
Fro7a Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Deep & beautiful :heart:
I wish you are okay now :pray:
Reply
:iconartrock23beatrice:
Artrock23Beatrice Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
beautiful i love it
Reply
:icondrcrazywolf:
DrCrazyWolf Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Beautiful....... I remember I wrote something about never saying goodbye, but in my journal enter if you want to look:):):)
Reply
:iconlindytm:
lindytm Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful...
Reply
:iconcutetango:
cutetango Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
nice u made me sad abit
Reply
:iconwewillneversurrender:
This is perfect!
Reply
:iconfanfiction776:
FanFiction776 Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
Shows a lot of emotion but its Beautiful at the same time
Reply
:icondalynet:
dalynet Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
So sad but insightful.  You are so talented!
Reply
:iconpiewuvs:
PIEWuvs Featured By Owner May 13, 2014
This makes me think of friends poem :iconkaliwuversyou:
KaliWuversYou
Reply
:iconkatryna121:
katryna121 Featured By Owner May 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
so cute XD it makes me want to cry 
Reply
:iconzoolana:
zoolana Featured By Owner May 8, 2014  Student Artist
awwww im pretty much crying inside.......:'( its so sad 
Reply
:iconcricket45:
Cricket45 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav.
Reply
:iconcricket45:
Cricket45 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
VERY NICE!
Reply
:iconjillwerewolf:
JillWerewolf Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Very touching:)
Reply
:iconlunar-glow:
lunar-glow Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014
Beautiful expression. I admire your work--how everything strings together so perfectly. The rhythm works well and the simplicity is beautiful as well.
Reply
:iconmandee88:
Mandee88 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful :)
Reply
:iconfanniyume:
FanniYume Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Really lovely *-*
Reply
:iconwindklang:
Windklang Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:( makes me sad - so you probably did a great job, even though as a non naitive speaker I cannot really judge in linguistical issues.
Reply
:iconbakashou:
BaKaShou Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my God. :'(
Reply
:iconvampirekisseslover:
vampirekisseslover Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014
This is beautiful Thanks for everything! 
Reply
:iconcelestelovely:
CelesteLovely Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
...speechless...
Reply
:iconhalcyal:
Halcyal Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014
There's a spot or two of trouble with the cadence/meter (mostly notable because the rhythm is otherwise so fine and strongly tuned). Apart from that, the thoughts, composition and rhyming are all rich and tight. Deftly done.
Reply
:iconwisemuffinthecreator:
WiseMuffinTheCreator Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Student General Artist
awww...
Reply
:iconkayleerydder:
KayleeRydder Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
wow. just wow. this is...wow.
Reply
:iconmishberries:
Mishberries Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014
Having to say goodbye is better than dragging it imo >.<
Reply
:iconthebrunnettmonster:
thebrunnettmonster Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Cry forever 
Reply
:icon1elite312:
1elite312 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014
really good stories
Reply
:iconzara-arletis:
Zara-Arletis Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You do a nice job of capturing love and loss with your poetry. It's a common thread without sounding cliche.
Reply
:iconpostredevainilla:
PostreDeVainilla Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014
You make me wanna cry, but I actually love it ♥
Reply
:iconbaconxeggsxandxtoast:
baconxeggsxandxtoast Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Student General Artist
Beautifull
Reply
:iconbutterbuttnutz:
ButterButtNutz Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
just beautifull... :meow:
Reply
:iconzkylar:
zkylar Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Hobbyist
Nicely done. I feel the pain as you've nailed a part of my past.
Reply
:iconminegem:
Minegem Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014   General Artist
Waaaah! :happybounce: Clap Hug Huggle! I think I've fainted. Made me feel so sad but it's beautiful and I'm going to hug you if I could ♥♥♥La la la la Giggle Love I am a dummy! Heart Heart Heart Yawn Nuu Facebook This
Reply
:iconpyxly:
Pyxly Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014
Oh my gosh I almost cried. Beautiful!
Reply
:iconxxemi-angel-chanxx:
xxEmi-AnGeL-chanxx Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is so pretty :) I can imagine it as a song - was that your intention?
Reply
:iconlovelyivette:
lovelyivette Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
This is so sad. Brings memories of lost loves. Great poem!
Reply
:iconbadeteto:
BadeTeto Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
damn your deep. unlike me. im as me deep as a six foot deep pool. your as deep as a bottomless pit.
Reply
:iconbtcheveryday:
btcheveryday Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I was about to cryCry run 
Reply
:iconyanesita86:
yanesita86 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
So sad but very well written. 
Reply
:icontrxshbin:
trxshbin Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014
so....beautiful:sad: 
Reply
:iconlady-dogma:
Lady-Dogma Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
goodbyes r for when ur dead as long as ur alive theres always a hello for u
Reply
:iconalwaysloveyou123:
alwaysloveyou123 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014
this is nice
Reply
:iconjustaclickaway:
JustAClickAway Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hey, thanks for the fave.

This is gorgeous. I love the way you played with the structure. The line breaks work for me just like you intended.
Reply
:iconfoxxette:
Foxxette Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well that was depressing but I like it
Reply
:iconpumaky:
Pumaky Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014
Amazing!! I really love it!
Reply
:iconbonezandgrim4ever:
BonezandGrim4ever Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
its very Boo-tiful
Reply
:iconawesomeanimewolf:
awesomeanimewolf Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2014
awe Lick Icon for FiretailCat 
Reply
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March 31, 2014
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